Why, Oh Why, Can’t I Be FI?

Pursuing Financial Independence - When You're Currently in Debt

In Pursuit of Financial Independence

I attended a meetup last weekend for the local ChooseFI group I belong to. It was actually more of a presentation. The group tries to do several throughout the year, balancing out educational with social. Yesterday’s presentation was about the recent tax changes.

Since I’m in the midst of doing taxes for all of my family members, I figured it would be worth it to attend and see if I could glean a few pointers from the discussion.

Also, I’m trying to make myself attend more of these events, to try to be more social. Because a discussion on taxes is clearly a social excursion …

But given the fact that I work from home, I can sometimes go a full week without ever leaving the house. I’m a homebody, and don’t see the need to go out just to go out.

Some people think that’s weird. I know it’s just the way I’m most comfortable.

Since making the conscious effort to co-mingle with the human race, I’ve found this local chapter of Choose FI to be a great place where I can interact with others. We’re all interested in money topics, and I don’t even need to say anything if I don’t want to. I can just sit back and listen.

Because I’ve met many group members who know A LOT, and are more than happy to share their knowledge. Which is really helpful, since this whole FI (Financial Independence) concept is still fairly new to me.

But a funny thing happened as the meeting was commencing and we were going around the table doing introductions.

Truth Be Told

As a conversation ice breaker, we were asked to go around the room and tell the reason why we are “choosing FI.” As each person was getting into their very personal and unique reason “why”, it finally came to be my turn.

And I knew I could either replicate the types of things others were saying, essentially making something up … Or I could be upfront, and lay it all out there on the table.

So deciding to throw caution to the wind, I explained what I was doing there, and how I got to be a part of the group.

It’s not to choose financial independence, or build wealth, or work remotely from an island. Although that would be really cool to do someday …

The real reason I’ve become involved with the personal finance community is because:

I’m in debt.

Or really, my entire family is in debt. But yes, I fully admit I was involved in the overall accumulation of it. And that debt is currently the bane of my existence.

Others in my household are not quite as concerned with it. They believe having debt is basically the “American way”. But I’m learning there are better ways to live my life.

And I, for one, am planning to get there.

 

No Woman is an Island

So with 13 sets of eyes turning to look at me (which btw is a socially anxious person’s absolute nightmare) I began my explanation. Which turned out to be quite the diatribe.

To start, while I don’t quite feel “old”, I definitely am one of the older participants in the group.

Ah, millennials — Y’all sure have your sh*t together, pardon my speech. If I could only go twenty years back in time, my finances would surely look very different. Granted, I wouldn’t change anything else during that timeframe (except maybe a few hairstyles …)

But the other “younger folk” in the meeting — they are just kickin’ butt and taking names! They’re preparing for retirement, creating a nest egg for the future. Creating savings accounts for their children, to get a kick start once they are older. Adopting a minimalist lifestyle, being as frugal as they need to be, and making wise money decisions.

And here I am, yearning for the chance to be in their shoes. To do everything differently, get a second chance at being a financially-savvy human.

I received encouraging smiles and nods as I proceeded with my rant. But I had a feeling they were internally wondering “Who let this crazy lady into our meeting??”  Until one of them finally interrupted, giving me the grace to catch my breath.

She said “Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, you’re doing all you can to make things better now.”

So why beat yourself up?

Indeed. Because lamenting the past contributes absolutely nothing to your future.

Maybe I just wanted to justify prior decisions. To show everyone I now know better, and want to be where they are. And to explain the respect I have for them — for being so smart with their money, at such a young age.

 

via GIPHY

 

The Princesses of Serendip

Coincidentally, a few days later I read a very timely article on this topic. It was written by a personal finance blogger who I respect highly, plus had the great pleasure to meet last year at FinCon.

Her article is directed toward middle-aged women who are trying to reinvent themselves. That it’s never too late to make positive changes, no matter how old you are. And instead of focusing on all the years missed, you should focus on the opportunities you can nurture going forward.

This really resonated with me, because I often feel overwhelmed with all of the improvements I’d like to make. But when you look at everything in smaller manageable pieces, perhaps little mini-goals, it makes the overall change seem more achievable.

And while the work involved might be intimidating, you need to do hard things. Because if you just float through life without challenging yourself, there’s no way you’ll ever grow as a person.

Pursuing Financial Independence - Chance Favors the Prepared Mind

 

Full Circle

Which brings me back to the topic at hand, as indicated in this post’s title.

Why can’t I be financially independent?

Why can’t I just pay off the debt, boost my savings, and start creating wealth. Is it too late for that? Well, it depends on how far I’d like to take it.

What type of life I’d like to have in retirement. If I can retire. Not to mention what other curve balls life might throw at me. Because in the words of Julie Chen-Moonves, you need to “Expect the unexpected.

But also, in the words of country singer Wynonna Judd, “Why not me?

The debt payoff journey has already started. As long as I can keep that going, we’ll eventually get there. So why can’t I become like the others, on a mission to become financially independent?

Why not me?

A clean slate. To start investing, picking up the pieces of my paused retirement plan, and running with it.

Exploring the possibilities of where I’d like my life to take me. Or really, where I plan to take it.

Because this middle-aged late-starter is in control of this ship.

Anyone else with me? 

(Sure that last part was a bit hokey, but I was feelin’ it. Sorry for the cheese.)

 

Anyone else dealing with a mid-life metamorphosis? Or have you already set out on a path to wealth?

I’d love to know your thoughts — Hit me up in the Comments!

Robin : )

Feature Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Pursuing Financial Independence - When You're Currently in Debt

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8 comments

  1. It is never too late 😉 I’m a middle aged woman too & discovering FIRE concept at 47 thought maybe it’s too late for me. But since then, being in this community has taught me so much and Im learning from everyone, young & older.

    1. Yes, that’s what I’m coming to realize! Even though we are late starters, we’re still being welcomed into the party. I’m so grateful to all of the PF & FIRE folks from around the globe who are willing to share their knowledge with us! 🙂

  2. Thanks for sharing, Robin. I agree with the very astute young lady that said “Don’t be so hard on yourself”. Probably 9 out of 10 (or more) people today are in a similar situation. The hardest step to take when facing what you think is a problem, is realizing there is a problem and then taking steps to solve said problem. Keep going in that direction and I’m sure you will solve it.

  3. Thanks for another interesting post. As a fellow middle-aged woman, I’m finding myself wanting a “minimalist” lifestyle but feeling like it’s an impossible task at this stage of the game. Thank you for giving me some food for thought…

    1. Well, if I’ve learned anything over this past year, it’s that nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it, and it’s never too late to make changes. Thank you for stopping by, and glad this has given you something to think about!

  4. Heyyy!! Good for you for going to the meet up and speaking up honestly. I believe that’s a huge part of getting better. You are a phenomenal woman with a lot to offer and you are intentionally working on cleaning out your debt. Keep going and let’s transform together!

    1. Thank you for the support, and right back ‘atcha! It’s all about setting goals, working hard, and making improvements!

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